God, I know you have another plan for me.
Another love story.
Another happy ending.
Another man.

But now, all I can say is : I'm weak.
I'm falling to the deepest darkest hole that I ever had in my whole life.
There's a wound inside my heart, really.
It hurts every morning, everytime I wide awake.
When the night falls down, I'm afraid to sleep because I know tomorrow I'll wake up in the same feeling.

God.
I'm asking you : why?

I won't hear you, I know.

But I would let you know these things.

I'm happy for these six months.
Well, not a long lasting happiness but still, I'm happy.

I was overwhelmed by his love and kindness.
I was proud to walk beside him, hold his hands, grab his waist.
I thought I was the luckiest girl ever when he told me that I'm pretty.
I felt so secure.
I cursed the clock when he hugged me and asked "why you keep tickin'?"
I thought he was the one, the best thing that ever been mine.

But, the fate twisted.
And I can't say "please stop"
I'm scared to see this ending.

But still, it ends.

I knew I wasn't made for him, I tore his heart.
Many times.
He tore mine.

I asked for explanation but he had no answers.

I just couldn't blame him, maybe he was to torn to tell me.
Or maybe, he wasn't love me that much.
Or maybe, this is just a dirty politic.

But God, at least I've tried.
Yes, love hurts, at least you've learned.

And these are my last last questions,

Is he happy now?
Does she take a good care of him?

If not, please make him, God.
If yes, I'm happy too, really.

Last,
I thank You for making these things happen.

Dear Oktavianus Wijaya Sakti,
I'll keep these feelings beautiful. Thank you.

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